I appreciate elaborate salads that require no less than 1,000 specialty ingredients before you even get to the dressing. This salad is not that. While there’s a time and a place for doing it up maximalist style, this recipe has minimal chic written all over it. Consider it the wide, white rooms full of natural light and, like, one potted frond of salads.
The trick with minimal anything is making sure what you do have is high quality. If the spotlight is on a few choice ingredients, those ingredients should be good. To be clear, good doesn’t necessarily mean expensive. I’ve been known to fuck with $2 bags of lettuce from TJ’s and nondescript bags of nuts from Target. For this recipe, for instance, I’d opt for olive oil you’d dip bread in and real parmesan cheese—none of this powdered salt in a can nonsense.
Because everything’s diced up in this salad, you could totally eat it with a spoon. In fact, I’d recommend you spoon it to get a perfect mix of flavors in each bite. Equal parts nutty, citrusy, and salty, this is the salad is surprisingly satisfying. I whip up a bowl when I’m buried by a heavy workday or feeling too lazy to cook.
Here’s what you need:
a few big handfuls of kale (really any kale will do)
a solid handful of walnuts (raw or roasted, it doesn’t really matter)
a small handful of parmesan (the real thing or bust)
salt & pepper to taste
Here’s what you do:
Chop everything up into roughly uniform bits. You want to get the kale super tiny—think pieces the size of peas or smaller—and do the same with the walnuts. If you’re using a block of parmesan cheese, use a zester or the smallest option on your cheese grater to get a fine, crumbly dusting of parm. Mix those three ingredients up with equal parts olive oil and lemon juice. You don’t need to mix your liquids beforehand, just be mindful of how much you’re adding. As the scientists say, you can always add more dressing but you can’t add less.
Toss everything together with salt and pepper to taste and grab a spoon. This salad was made for shoveling.